Muse-less
For those people who believe you have to force yourself to work through just about anything: It’s easy to understand your own processes but almost impossible to understand another’s. Even I find myself thinking a friend’s method can’t be right, can’t be the best way, because I know my way is best. Only the truth is, my way is best for me, and maybe not even that. My way is best for me sometimes, and my other ways are best for me at other times.
Today, I can’t concentrate on working, because I’ve had some bad news about my grandfather. It’s not the worst possible news, but it could be at any time, and that keeps my mind from settling on anything long enough to focus. And without focus, I’m not worth much.
My ability (my need) to focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else is my greatest strength (and my most damning weakness) as a writer. Because if the thing I’m focused on is not my writing for the day, then my writing isn’t going to get done.
I’ve tried to change my ways, for too long. There’s a point you reach when you have to stop working against your natural tendencies and starting working with them. I think I’ve reached that point. But I’ve also noticed that it’s just as hard to set up a method based on something you know and feel but can’t quite understand as it is to set up a method you think should work but never does.
Tell me to sit in my chair and write and I’ll ignore you. I’ve learned my lessons about writing, and for me, if I force myself to write when I can’t, I hate writing. I hate it with enough passion to avoid it as long as possible. And then I write, and I realize how much I love to write. How much I depend on it to keep me balanced.